You know what’s wild? Most of us don’t actually slow down until something forces us to.
An illness. A breakdown. A moment where your body just says no more — and you finally listen because you have no other option.
And here’s the thing about that: if slowing down only ever happens in crisis, you never learn what it feels like as a choice. You only ever experience it as collapse.
That’s a completely different thing. And this month, we’re making the case for choosing it before you get there.
This Month on Chasing Brighter
Welcome to June — and welcome to a month that is going to feel different.
This month on Chasing Brighter, we’re talking about joy, summer, and intentional living — what it actually looks like to slow down on purpose, romanticize the life you’re already in, and choose joy even when (especially when) it feels vulnerable. Last month, we explored identity and expectations — who you’re becoming and what you’re allowed to let go of. This month, we’re stepping into what opens up when you do.
Think of it this way: May was the exhale. June is the inhale.
Why Chosen Rest Feels Different Than Forced Rest
There’s a real difference between collapsing on the couch because you literally cannot stand anymore — and choosing to sit down because you decided your body deserves it today.
Chosen rest feels restorative. Collapse feels like defeat. And that distinction is everything.
Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a physician and rest researcher, has identified seven types of rest that go far beyond sleep — including mental, emotional, sensory, and creative rest. Her work shows that you can get eight hours of sleep every night and still feel depleted if you’re running deficits in the other areas. The kind of rest we’re talking about here isn’t about napping more. It’s about choosing to stop before you break.
The cultural story most of us absorbed goes something like this: rest is the reward at the end. When the work is done. When the kids are grown. When you’ve earned it.
But the end keeps moving.
Summer Brings This Up in a Particular Way
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: a lot of women quietly dread summer.
Not because they don’t want the warmth or the longer days. But because the structure loosens. And when you’ve been running a tight ship for months — managing schedules, logistics, all the invisible labor — unstructured time can feel genuinely uncomfortable.
If free time feels wrong, that’s worth sitting with. Because it’s telling you something important about how deeply you’ve internalized productivity as your measure of worth.
And the real question underneath all of it is: can you be a different kind of present? Not managing, not optimizing — just being in your life. That’s the work of this month.
Jessica put it perfectly in this week’s episode: she’s been in a season of massive output — her practice, the podcast, three kids, Gabby’s entire senior year — and she genuinely feels good right now. Not in a performative way. In a real, grounded, I-chose-this way. That didn’t happen by accident. It happened because she’s been choosing herself — consistently, over years — even when it was inconvenient.
When you feel strong in your body, you can actually be present. You’re not managing energy. You’re living from it.
What Slowing Down Actually Looks Like (It’s Not Doing Nothing)
Let’s clear something up: slowing down is not doing nothing.
It’s doing differently.
It’s presence instead of output. Noticing instead of managing. Being in your life rather than running it.
For some of us, “just being” is a skill we have to rebuild. We’ve been optimized for efficiency for so long that actually landing somewhere takes real intention.
Here’s what it looks like in a real life: protecting the morning coffee. Not checking your phone before you’re ready. Letting a graduation moment actually land instead of documenting it.
Fred Bryant, a social psychologist at Loyola University Chicago and the leading researcher on savoring, defines the practice as being mindfully engaged and aware of your feelings during positive events — deliberately making a positive experience last. His research shows that people who practice savoring regularly report higher life satisfaction and greater emotional resilience. It’s not gratitude journaling. It’s ten seconds of actually being where you are.
This month is the practice. Small. Gentle. No performance.
🎧 Listen to This Week’s Episode
Want the full conversation? We go deeper on why chosen rest feels completely different from forced rest — and what opens up when you stop waiting for permission to slow down.
✨ Try This This Week
- Identify one optional thing on your June calendar. Something you’ve been doing out of habit or obligation rather than genuine desire. You don’t have to cancel it today. Just look at it honestly. Is it a yes or a slow no?
- Find one moment this week where you choose to slow down before you’re forced to. One morning. One meal. One moment you let actually land. Choose it. Notice how it feels to choose it.
- Practice the ten-second pause. When something is genuinely good — a sip of coffee, a breeze, your kid laughing — stay in it for ten seconds instead of half-leaving for the next thing.
- Ask yourself: what kind of rest am I actually missing? Sleep might not be the deficit. It could be mental, emotional, sensory, or creative rest that needs attention.
What’s Coming Next
Next week, we’re talking about romanticizing your life — what it actually means, why Jessica used to roll her eyes at that phrase, and what changed. It turns out it has nothing to do with linen aprons and everything to do with attention.
You don’t have to earn the right to slow down. You don’t have to wait until your body forces the issue. You can just choose it. Today. Right now.
That’s where everything opens up. 🤍